Thursday, April 08, 2010

The Post That Attempts to Explain Why I Am So Boring

I thought I had better check in. I noticed it's already Thursday and I've only posted once this week. Taking Monday off work always throws me for a loop concerning knowing what day it is. But after the great Easter dinner potato peel plug affair of 2010 I'm glad I had the day off. Sort of. It was spent taking my mom to appointments and then having a nice lunch with her.

It's been an odd couple of weeks months for me with blogging. I've really had nothing to say. Yes, me, the one who has in her lifetime been accused of talking too much. Can you believe certain people actually had the audacity to say that about moi?! My hubby and I have been in the throes of some decision making concerning my job and it's been hard. Trying to discern the will of God when it comes to stuff like this is hard especially when we are looking at things from very different ends of the spectrum. It's been hard because with a job like child care I want to do the best by the kids and parents so I go through a lot of guilt. If I'm thinking I might be changing jobs I'm already stressing way ahead of time how I will tell the parents. And I have had to fill spots in the dayhome because I have to work. And yet I'm stressed to the max worrying that I might have to give notice 3 months after they have started. And I don't even know if I'm taking another job. So I feel very torn and confused and steeped in guilt. I don't even know what I'm doing for sure yet but my mind and heart are consumed by this this day and night. It is always there right on the edge of my brain no matter what I am doing.

I've also had a one year old start this week so as anyone who's been around babies knows one year olds take. alot. of. work. I think I'm getting too old for this job. Hence the big decision we are trying to make. And as mentioned with my mom, I want to be there for my mom to be able to take her to appointments and help her out as she needs me as she gets older. But I have to work. Oh, how torn I feel. There are so many pros and cons to both staying in the job I have and in doing something else. Oops, there I go again. This decision takes over my mind like some kind of alien abduction thing going on.

So anyway that's my sad, sorry excuse at to why the blog has been, shall we say a tad bit boring as of late. Thank God for Friday's Fave Five. You guys don't realize how much I look forward each week to looking for blessings that I can add to the list of five and how much reading all your favorites lifts me up and gives me perspective. Thank you all for joining in on that with me. And on that note, we shall see you all hopefully tomorrow!

10 comments:

ellen b. said...

Praying for you right now Susanne and I'm looking forward to fave fives too...

Barbara H. said...

I understand. We're praying over some decisions that I haven't been able to make public yet, and it does take up a great deal of brain space and activity. Whichever way God leads you, He will give grace and take care of the details.

Islandsparrow said...

I'm praying for you Suzanne - that the Lord will lead you every step of the way. He can make it all right for both you and for the parents. So I'm asking that He wash away the guilty feelings and give you His peace about the next phase of your life.

I'm looking forward to fff too. I missed the past 2 weeks with Easter and getting Sarah off.

Karyn said...

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
Trust, therefore in the Lord.

Big decision. Big God.

I pray for you to have peace with the correct decision.

Willow said...

I think FFF is my favorite part of my week and I'm always thankful that you host it. I've been facing, 'What to do next year?' also. How many students, what classes to offer? As I pray for wisdom for myself, I'll pray for you too.

Brenda said...

Transition times are tough and we can't always blog about them :) We are in transition too so I can relate.

I look forward to Fridays Favorites each week as well, thanks for hosting it.

Linda said...

I do exactly the same thing when I'm facing a major decision Susanne. I pray that the Lord will give you very clear direction about what He would have you do. I know that as He leads you, He will care for everyone involved.
You haven't been boring!!

Sandy@ Jesus and Dark Chocolate said...

Oh dear friend you are not boring! Just have alot going on lately. I notice that with myself also, my creative blogging mind isn't in high gear when I am so busy or have other things on my mind.
I will pray for, May God give you wisdom and PEACE about it!!!

I also look forward to FFF! Sometimes it's the ONLY post I get to in a week! Thanks for being such a fine host....it's a great group of bloggers!

Karen said...

Reading this post brings back the decision-making I went through with my job, and I started feeling anxious all over again! It is so stressful. I'll pray for you, Susanne, that you'll be led to a decision soon. It would be easier if it was just something that you had to decide for yourself, but having other people involved makes it so much harder.

nikkipolani said...

Those are big decisions, Susanne. I hope that God's leading will be crystal clear in the weeks to come.