Thursday, February 19, 2009

On Birthdays and Beginnings

For those who have wondered if I fell of the face of the earth these past few days, I really am still around. We had a very busy and wonderful weekend visiting Kay in the city where she lives. It was our first visit there since we moved her there at the end of August for bible school. It's her birthday this Saturday but we went last weekend because with the holiday on Monday it gave us that extra day. It is just way too long of a trip to make in a normal weekend. Basically it's seven hours of non-stop sitting in a vehicle. Oi, the bottom, it does get numb! Thank goodness we know where the Starbucks are in a couple of cities along the way!

The drive is numbing but the reward of seeing her was well worth it. We attended church with her and celebrated her birthday at the restaurant of her choice which turned out to be Moxies. Her boyfriend's birthday is exactly a week to the minute after hers so we had him along and we invited her sweet roommate along. She deserved a dinner out for letting us all take over the apartment all weekend.

We have a Moxies here but let me tell you this was the fanciest Moxies I have ever been in. One of the fanciest restaurants in fact of any kind. Not that it was hoity-toity or anything but the decor was just so unique and neat. And I really made everybody's eyes roll when I was delayed in the washroom because, well, I was taking pictures of it. Yes, I actually did. Aren't I a good little blogger?! It was fancy dancy, I tell ya. And seeing they wouldn't let me take pics of my food at my birthday dinner and I totally forgot to take pictures of the food here, you get to see the washroom! Lucky you!

Just look at them light fixtures.

These are makeup chairs. Those silver contraptions are mirrors that you can adjust where you want. Almost star trekky don't you think.

A washroom is just not complete without a fireplace and tv in the wall. A tv and fireplace, people. I want one of these walls in my bathroom at home. How cool would that be?!

And no, I'm not from the boonies and yes, I don't get out much if I can get this giddy about a restaurant washroom. Thanks for asking. But anything that makes one feel like a movie star, even if it a movie star using a bathroom, is blog worthy, don't ya think?

I wish I would have taken pics of the front door. They were pretty awesome, but it didn't occur to me at the time. And what would a restaurant visit be without someone inventing something out of the items on the table.

Mmmm, the white chocolate brownie birthday dessert was sure good! And no, brother, I won't share.

And of course, a birthday girl has to have gifts. Now Kay has never, ever been into Barbies, but Lucy she loves. So she was pretty pleased with the I Love Lucy collector dolls she got for her birthday. They now have a prominent spot on her tv stand.

Monday by noon it was time to make the seven hour trek back. Tuesday was back to work but it was a weird day. I was exhausted. It wasn't just the long drive there and back all within a long weekend, or just the fact that I never sleep as well when I'm not in my own bed, or that I stayed up too late just being with her. But I was emotionally exhausted too. I had such mixed feelings and felt quite discombobulated. This trip showed me some things. It was so wonderful to go see the cute things the girls have done with the apartment since we moved her in, it was so good to see how she was doing. It made me swell with motherly love and pride at how good she has adjusted and how well she is doing. How responsible she is, and how so many of the things I tried to teach her and figured weren't getting through actually did and now she's doing them.

But there was also a feeling in the pit of my stomach from the trip and it took me until Tuesday night to figure it out and until today to be able to blog about it. There came a hard realization that, without a doubt, that my little girl had grown up. That she was probably never going to come back to the nest and live at home again. That she had made a life for herself and was succeeding wonderfully without me close by, hovering over her. And while that brought absolute joy to my heart and was what I was hoping and praying for, I also realized it was a defining moment both for me and her. When I dropped her off in September, deep down I think I was convincing myself that she would be back in the next couple of years. And though she might move back to our city one day, somehow I think my young lady has become just that, a young lady, no longer a girl. Out on her own, beginning a new chapter of her life. And doing just fine, thanks Mom.
I know this is the goal of parenting by why is it so dang heart wrenching to think she might not need me anymore?


ellen b. said...

Ahh Susanne, I know that feeling. Praying for the joy to continue and the comfort to be there when you have those moments ....

Islandsparrow said...

I know it too - it's hard - but good. And now my girl is talking about becoming a full-time missionary.I'm so glad that she wants to - but still - sniff!

Faith said...

well I don't know the feeling yet but let me tell ya I am having a hard time with all the college mailings that are coming into our mailbox. in fact I just wrote a post about it. It is driving me insane....I'll be calling ya for tips when it is time for mine to leave the nest!

I never heard of Moixies...but wow...I would love to dine there and use the bathroom! lol....glad you're back!

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

She needs you. She just doesn't know it. :>)

gail@more than a song said...

What fun to visit your birthday girl! And a very good blogger to take all those pics, a very fancy restroom indeed.
Oh I know the feeling you're talking about with our kids! But I will say, she'll still need you in the future! It might be a bit different but they do still need us at times.

Linda said...

Oh Susanne - what a touching post (and I am very impressed with that restroom - amazing). I guess that is exactly what they call bitter/sweet. It is wonderful to know our children have grown into the adults we have always prayed and worked hard to see them become. But it really is hard to realize they are all grown up and ready to fly on their own.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh, Susanne, here we are again together. This week Katie announced her grad date is May 9, and I had the pit in the stomach feeling, too. Why do Lidna's and Susanne's kids keep growing up???

Willow said...

She'll still need you. Trust me. There will still be text messages, phone calls, snuggles when she is at home. I know. Been there. If she weren't doing so well, you'd be worried, right?

Donnetta said...

Now that looks like quite the place to eat. I've never seen a bathroom like that!

So glad you had the weekend together. It looks and sounds like it was a great time.

Thanks for sharing the process of the transition. I know my turn will be coming in just a few years..

Barbara H. said...

I have never heard of Moxie's. That one looks like a lot of fun!!

I so know what you mean about the mixed emotions of having a young one growing up and being on their own.I know we'll stay in touch wherever they are, but it just won't be the same. I'll miss that everyday casualness and communication.

green gables girl said...

My girls still are pretty needy so it's hard to imagine them not being so sometimes! But I know the day will come, it will indeed be a sad adjustment at times for me, I'm sure.

Loved hearing about the birthday celebrations...Happy Birthday to her early! :)

(And I would have also been excited about that fancy restroom!) :)

PastorMac's Ann said...

Awww, my friend. I'm praying for you. So hard letting them go. But you shouldn't worry - she'll always need her mom no matter how grown-up she becomes.

Org Junkie said...

Oh my gosh Susanne, I've missed you! You also have me sitting here crying and making me realize that I need to appreciate my 12 year old as much as possible because before I know it this will be me.

That bathroom is amazing and yes I'm from the boonies and I would have been totally in awe checking it out. I've never seen anything like it. I appreciate you sneaking your camera in for pictures for us LOL

Brenda said...

I know that feeling, watching the kids grow up. Its bittersweet, but when they grow up well, its just sweet.

Chappyswife said...

Ahhh, Susanne. I understand what you are going through, but on a smaller scale for me. I've really been going through it with our oldest as he is trying so hard to grow up, I'm trying so hard to let him, but I am so terrible at letting go. We deal with this everyday.

I am happy for your girl but understand it is so hard for you. I bet you are so proud of her, too. It sounds like you've done a wonderful job.

That restaurant sounds fabulous. I guess we don't have those here as I've never heard of Moxies. I would love a tv & fireplace in my bathroom. lol

Barb said...

I know that feeling too, Susanne. But rest assured - they grow up and become independent and make a life of their own, but they never ever stop needing Mom. She will always need you.

That bathroom is amazing. I'd have photographed it too. I can't imagine anything more luxurious than a fireplace in the bathroom, for pete's sake.