Thursday, July 19, 2007

Found at the Unlikey Homesteader. A bit of silliness to amuse you while I slave away putting on a second coat of paint.

QUESTION: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.

Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Nancy Polosi: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Colin Powell: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Anderson Cooper - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain.Alone.

Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Bill Gates: I have just re leased eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.

Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Al Gore: I invented the chicken!

Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?

Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?


Anonymous said...

this is a very smiley post!

Islandsparrow said...

LOL indeed - thanks Suzanne - I love it!

Linda said...

Thank you Susanne - that was just a whole lot of fun. I sure do wish I could be that clever.
Happy Painting!!

Unknown said...

This is funny.

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

This is CLASSIC!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you! That gave me the first out-loud chuckle of the day!

Lisa Spence said...

Silliness, indeed! That's funny!

Musings of a Housewife said...

That is GREAT. The kids are wondering why I'm laughing at the computer.

gail@more than a song said...

Some of those are SO funny! I've got a friend that would get a kick out of those.
Painting doesn't sound like so much fun though.

Barb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barb said...

I'm cackling! Too funny, Susanne. I never get good stuff like this. I think I'll cross the road in search of a worm to eat. LOL

Terri said...

ROTFL!!!! Too funny!

PastormacsAnn said...

These are funny. I'm painting too. I wish Pastormac hadn't gone away to a conference. He's MUCH better and quicker at it than I am.

Anonymous said...

Loved Blessings on your painting self!

Cyndi said...

This was SOOOO funny, and well worth my time while I'm procrastinating from doing housework... Thank you! :)

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...


Shalee said...

This one made me laugh out loud... Perfect end to this wonderful day!