Thursday, December 14, 2006

Perspective, Thanks and Link Love

Thanks so much to everyone who weighed in and gave me some great advice over "The Big Dilemma". I tell ya I'm sorta glad only one of my kids is in sports. I don't think I could go through some of this stuff with three of them. And when you see your kid really hurting that old Mama Bear instinct just rises in me. You know; protect your young. But you all are right. This is a perfect opportunity for her to learn that life is not fair and how to walk through it with grace and leaning on Jesus.

We've never quite experienced this kind of coaching in her "career" as a basketball player. Her former coaches have always been very supportive and treated players fairly. Her last that she had for 2 1/2 years, was very competitive yet was able to balance playing the girls fairly, at least communicating to them exactly what he wanted. And she also had him as a coach in club for two years where it was very much a family atmosphere and parents and the coach talked freely. So this is a huge learning curve for me also, this negotiating the choppy waters of competitive high school sports and new parent-coach relationships, or lack thereof. I think what's been the most frustrating for her is going from a top player in junior high to having her position changed and then not being played as much last year as they decided what on earth they wanted to do with her (they said she was no longer tall enough to play post), then deciding they were going to change her around, the learning curve of learning the new skills and then all of a sudden being thrown into something she hadn't worked on in a year and then sat out because her performance wasn't there. Anyhow, it's a day past it and she went to practice and still worked hard. Good for her, I don't know if I could have been so mature at her age of 16.

Anyhoo, all that to say, thank you all for helping out this mom to have a little perspective on the situation and for granting to me your sage advice and your prayers.

And moving right along, there have been some awesome posts out there in the last few weeks. I wish I would have wrote them all down but I'd like to pass on a few that I remember.

~ Barbara H. at Stray Thoughts posted a wonderful Christmas version of I Corinthians 13 here

~ Kari at Oodles of Blessings has had a wonderful series running where she takes different characters from the Christmas story and gives us their perspective of that wonderful event. It started a little while ago but if you go now you can catch up. It's well worth it. It starts here and then you can see the rest of the posts in here sidebar to get to todays.

~ Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee posted this hilarious perspective on a popular Christmas gift exchange.

~ Christine at Fruit in Season had a great post on the atmosphere in your home here and she has Mr. Linky set up with others writing on the same subject.

~ Carol at She Lives had a great post on what you can learn from each character involved in the Christmas story here.

There have been tons more this week. I really need to write some of these down. Enjoy the ones I remembered.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the links to these...I'm going to read them later!


lrlwreath said...

I know how you feel, the Mother Bear comes out in me to. This year it is my youngest son's teacher. Hubby had to help me calm down, I don't care for the lady (and I am being polite). But this will not be his last teacher who is difficult. Sigh...

Thanks for the links of excellent posts. Some I have read and could not agree more, the others I am off to read right now =)

Beck said...

Great links. It is so HARD to watch your baby go through a rough time - I always want to wade in and start yelling at people, but I try to remember that sometimes failure teaches kids valuable lessons, too. I TRY to remember that.

Barb said...

First I saw the photos then I read the post, Susanne. Yep, we're definitely bears when it comes to our kids being treated unfairly. But you seem to have the right perspective on it now and as hard as it is, there really is a huge lesson in this. To be honest with you, I was relieved when we got past this age. It hurts too much to see your child in this position.

Thank you for the links. It's so hard to keep up with everyone right now and all but one of these are new to me. I'll check them out.

Anonymous said...

I think we all understand the Mama Bear instinct.

And what a witness to others that your daughter goes back to practice and continues to work hard.

I will have to check out the Links..thanks for sharing them


Shalee said...

I'm Irish. My dander is often up. That is why God gave me Mr. Right - to take a breath, to calm down and to find a Christ-like way to handle, well, everything.

Love ya, Mama Bear!

Anonymous said...

I am responding to two posts here. I have had four kids in various sports activities. My youngest plays freshman basketball. What I have taught my kids to do is TALK to the coach themselves. Let the coach know they want to play and ask the coach what do they need to do to get in the action. Communication.

As a parent I may inquire politely, "How is Joey doing?" etc... but I don't question the choices the coach makes. My eldest son did a lot of bench sitting and my eldest daughter rarely got to play basketball as a junior but she loved being part of the team. In her senior year she put more of her interests in music and literature and decided not to go out. It was a good choice for her. She learned a lot about her own strengths and weaknesses. She started in softball all her was a strength, but not a life long career strength.

I don't understand many coaches but I also don't understand the stress and pressure they are under to having winning seasons. So, the best advice I can give is to have your daughter pray, speak to the coach herself (this tells him she really cares about the game and loves the game and is mature enough to voice her concerns about her performance and the team -- coaches want team players).

My son Joey talks to his coaches all the time...even as a young boy at the rec center he would ask questions before, during and after the games. During the football season the coach even asked Joey for his advice concerning some plays...and even though Joey started he did not get to play the position he wanted but he did get to compromise. Joey wanted to be a tight end (he had been for years and the sub quarterback), coach wanted him to play starting quarterback. Joey was the wide receiver...and he is good at it.

Blessings to you!

This is so long I will only say to this post...thanks for the links and hugs!

Tammy said...

Yep, those Mother Bear instincts do rise up in all of us!

I'll have to check out those links later...but right now, need to get back to work cleaning and decorating for the tour tomorrow! :D

Melanie said...

I think the Mama Bear would come out in me. It would be a lesson more for me, than for her. It is so hard to see your child hurting. I hope this doesn't discourage her too much.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing these other blogs..I look forward to reading them.

org junkie said...

Oh Susanne, thankfully my daughter is as uncoordinated as her mother and doesn't play sports....the politics of it are something else!

Thanks for the links!

Lala's world said...

I get really protective too! I was a little over protective of my oldest daughter but it became more of a hindrance so I hope I am learning and getting better perspective too!