Friday, June 22, 2007

An Appointment with the Mad Scientist, uh, Doctor

Yesterday I went to the doc with my toe. My hubby insisted. In fact, he's the one who picked up the phone and made the appointment. And he took charge of the dayhome kids while I was gone. Now you gotta know he means business when he does that.

So with much trepidation, I went. The doc was running a little late so in the time I was sitting there I did a pretty good job of working myself into a stomach churning lump of wimpiness. I was terrified and the thought of him touching my toe or, heaven forbid, him drilling my nail was making my stomach go on a crazy roller coaster ride. I'd never had that done before and I had visions of the kind of cordless electric drill in my husbands garage being applied to my sore toe. And sure enough what does he strongly recommend we do, drilling the nail to relieve the pressure.

He had bought a 1st year medical student in with him, a really nice, sweet young man, who, probably, after having me in the office is rethinking his choice of professions. I was so scared by that point, that while the doc went out of the room to hunt down the tools, a couple little tears slipped out. I know, t.o.t.a.l. wimp. And when I'm scared of stuff like that I get totally idiotic jokey. So here's this poor young man, trying to give me words of comfort while he's got a lunatic laughing/crying woman on his hands. And the doc is not in the room. And the doc is taking forever to come back. At one point, he leaned his head out the door to look in the hall and said "I wonder where he went?" . The guy was probably looking to see how far the nearest exit sign was.

Then the doc, who finally found his way back, says first they're going to try to burn a hole in the nail because sometimes that works better. The word "sometimes" totally jumped right out at me. Picture this in your head. He's sitting there trying to get the flame going big enough on a little oil lamp and heat up a metal wire. And I'm laying on the table thinking, "You better not be trying some weird experiment just because you want to show off to some fledgling student". And I've got visions of a mad scientist running through my head, but he doesn't want to do experiments on my brain, no it's my toe he's experimenting on. (Told you I get idiotic silly when I'm scared of something). So this running movie in my head is making me laugh nervously and say crazy joking things weakly trying to attempt to relieve my fear. Well, after a couple minutes, he can't get the flame going on the crazy thing good enough to heat up the metal, so we're back to drilling. The whole time the nice young man is keeping up a running conversation with me trying to get my mind off what's happening. I tell you, it was total sitcom material.

Before I knew it, it was done, and you know what? It didn't hurt at all. Not. one. smidge. of. pain. Now that's a good doctor! And I'm a total wimp. Oh, and in case you were wondering, it was not an electric drill the caliber of which equals the one in my hubby's garage. It was a tiny little thing he just moved back and forth between his fingers. As they were leaving the office with me still doing the nervous/lunaticy laugh, my doc looks at me and says "Thanks for being so entertaining!" Ya you're welcome, any 'ole time.

So what did I learn from this whole thing? There is a ton of blog mileage in a smashed toe! So if you ever have writer's block....feel free to borrow the smashed toe idea!

25 comments:

momrn2 said...

My own stomach was churning just reading this... and I'm a nurse!

I have a hard time believing it didn't hurt at all, but I'm glad for your sake it didn't!!

Is it feeling better now that they did that?

Stacy at Exceedingly Mundane said...

Ugh, believe me, you are not the only wimp out there. I would have been this bad or worse. The anticipation is the worst - I build it up to be so bad, and then usually, it's not that bad. But the waiting is killer :) I'm so glad it didn't hurt!

Does it feel better now or still hurt?

ellen b said...

Ahh Susanne, You are doing a great job of entertaining me this morning. Hilarious. I do the same thing when I get nervous scared, I joke about everything and talk alot! Hope the pressure is relieved and the toe heals fast...

Org Junkie said...

Oh.my.word! You are one brave woman because I'm quite sure I would have ran from the room screaming.

Yikes, hope you are doing okay now! I'm heavily medicated myself with a darn pinched nerve in my neck. uggg.

Have a great weekend my friend,
Laura

Tammy said...

Yikes, Susanne! What a brave girl you were, too!
I'm hoping it starts to get better fast for you now, after all that!
(((HUGS)))

Barbara H. said...

I'm cringing and I am not even in a doctor's office. I tend to do the opposite when I'm scared -- I get very quiet and tense and don't want anyone to talk to me or bother me. I'm sure your way is much better!

I had to have the burning a hole thing done once when I accidentally closed the car door on my finger (and it was locked...and my child was inside in a car seat...). I don't remember if it hurt when the dr. did it, but it was such a relief of pressure after he did.

Missy said...

Sweetie, just thinking about that toe has me a bit clammy, and like you, I pictured the huge drill press thing we installed a new subfloor with ! Ah, the imagination! So glad that you did not feel the pain-- hope the toe feels better now.

Lana G! said...

That is fabulous posting there my friend. :) I too become quite the conversationalist when I am nervous! Yikers. May you and your toe have a nice restful weekend!

Jen said...

bless you hubby

i have actually hurt my foot too :(

Laurel Wreath said...

I don't know if I should laugh or cry with you. I am a total whimp also. I am glad it didn't hurt.

So Many Books... said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! =)

Mrs. U said...

I have to tell ya, BOTH of my big toes are hurting just sitting here reading this! You are a BRAVE woman to go to the doc!! But I guess you are glad that you went now!!

His,
Mrs. U

Rebecca said...

I have to be honest. My doctor told me I'd have to sign papers before she would let me out of her office. They were papers saying it wasn't her fault when I die. I had an infection that had to be lanced. No way was that going to happen.

She got her way when she told me she was going to run and add next to my obit. She was going to tell everyone what a selfish mom I was to die with 2 kids that needed a mom.

I called my hubby in the room and cried and held his hand while they did what they had to do. LOL

If they came at me with a drill. I don't care how small. They would have to catch me and put me out. LOL

I'm glad you are doing better.

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

HAHAHA. I have to say my husband is in PA (physician assistant) school and you must know that those students, it would take alot for them to actually think a patient is a wimp, or odd.

I ask my husband all the time because I AM a big wimp. He knows that. But he says it's no big deal. I think the type of person that really get's on doctors nerves are the ones who make things up for meds. And let me tell you, doctors (and my husband-a student) can quickly tell which patients are seriously in pain, or needing real medical care versus the people just using them to get meds and stuff.

Anyway, I went off on a long comment and chased a rabbit. But the point is. We as patients always are afraid of what our physicians think of us, and I have learned that most of the time they don't think much of anything (positive or negative). You are just their patient. And you would have to be totally pathetic for them to walk out of the room rolling their eyes at you (like the ones who make up need for pain meds)....
....
Ok I'll quit taking up your comment section...

Dianne said...

I'm sorry for all your toe issues, but I've gotten quite a kick out of these stories! I hope it starts to heal now.

gail@more than a song said...

Oh I cringed just reading this, I'm a wimp too! Glad it didn't hurt though and hope you are feeling better by now!

Beck said...

I'm pretty wince-y at the doctor's office, too - but it's so funny, sometimes, what scares us after everything is through, isn't it?

Shalee said...

Oh Susanne! I'm totally with you. I only go to the doctor's office if I'm either crying so much from the pain or if something is turning an unnatural color.

All that being said, we were probably at our respective doctors' offices at the same time. Sigh. I'm glad when it's not as bad as it could be.

Glad to hear that it all turned out well with you too.

dcrmom said...

Ugh, ugh, ugh! I was shuddering through your whole post. I'm a wimpy too. SO glad it didn't hurt!!!

Barb said...

For heavens sake, I would have passed out. I can assure you I invented the idea of complete wimp when it comes to anything that might hurt even the slighest. It's all the doctor can do not to laugh in my face, I'm so ridiculous.

Just reading this was gruesome so I'm glad it didn't hurt.

aggiejenn said...

Wow! I'm glad they were able to do something for you; I totally would have been nervous, too. Is it better?

Lisa writes... said...

Praying for continued recovery!

Chappyswife said...

You are HILARIOUS! I do hope your toe is better some by now. I read these posts earlier but could not comment (arms full of baby :0) ). Had to try to be quiet while laughing.

FlipFlop Mom said...

OH that was a RIOT.. I'm sorry that I'm taking pleasure in your "pain".. but I just had to giggle.. I'm sorry!! Ü
OH and I'm def buying the book in the other post you recommended for teen girls.. ( I have a 16 year old!!).. can't wait to read it!!

Don't forget to relax for you TOO!!!

FlipFlop Mom said...

OH I forgot to add.. ummm.. well you see.. I have this lump in my breast.. so I went to the Dr.. she felt it and told me to stay still.. she'd be right back... she came back in the room with a BIG BIG ole needle... she told me it was a cyst and she was going to drain it... right there.. and NOT to be alarmed if it was a BRIGHT GREEN or BLACK... cause that's normal..
Me.. I held my breath and let her poke.. nothing.. she poked again.. NOTHING... ahhhh she didn't poke a third time... that was NOT fun.. LOL LOL LOL