Friday, March 23, 2007

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.

At work and school, you do best when you're researching.

When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.

Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.

You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

Verrrrry interesting. They forgot to mention that as a firstborn I am probably way too bossy. I just might have a few control issues, that I strive to please and that I strive to protect and help others. I also tend to be way too serious (as my family will atest), am rule conscious (totally), conservative, and competitive (oh yeah, ask hubby, he hates playing board or card games with me) and not partial to risk taking.

You know being the first born and knowing myself you'd think I would not do the same sort of things to my oldest, but I find myself forever falling into the same old, same old. I seem to have bigger expectations of her. It's like she's breaking us in as parents, preparing us for her siblings. She's the one with the stricter rules, less leeway. Once we've lived through it, and realize we will all live and not die with certain things, the rules for that seems to ease for her & her siblings. I find it difficult to find a balance with this. She is the ground breaker, the one paving the way, the one on whom we make a bunch of mistakes. I pray lots we don't ruin her, that we are able to find this balance that we don't make things too hard on her. That she knows bottom line how much she is loved and what a treasure she truly is to this family.

Sheesh, now how did that goofy blog thing turn into a mushy post reducing me to a teary, introspective, unsure blob. Okay, I think it's time I go back to reading everyone's list for the spring reading thing before there is nothing left of me but a big puddle.

Oh, and if you are an American Idol fan, you have got to go over and read my friend Melanie's
post on the judges judging her blog. Make sure you have no beverages in your mouth at the time of reading.


Barb said...

I read Melanie's post yesterday and it completely cracked me up.

I'm a firstborn, too. Oldest of six kids. Every single thing you said here is true. I know for sure my parents were a lot rougher on me than they were my brothers and sister. I broke my parents in for them. Comparatively speaking, my youngest brother had it very, very easy. :-)

PS - your husband wouldn't want to play board games with me either. LOL

gail said...

Great post Susanne! I'm a firstborn too and so many of those fit me also...I'm a pleaser, rule conscious, conservative and slightly competitive! I don't think my family likes to play board games with me either.

The link to the Idol post on your friend Melanie's site, hilarious!

annie said...

I had to smile reading about your oldest. I pray that same prayer, although I am the youngest in my family & the only girl :) Can you say spoiled?
Anyway, we do expect too much of sweet Amanda who is 16 and she is such an overachiever... I need to watch that.

Barbara H. said...

I'm the firstborn of six as well (waving to Barb -- we have that in common along with our names :)) and I was nodding along at all the firstborn characteristics you mentioned.

I've hoped/prayed many times that my children survive my mistakes!

I do like those characteristics of dependability and contentiousness in my oldest son.

Tammy said...

Yep, loved her post even though I'm one of the only Americans left not watching American Idol! ;)

And this was an interesting post, Susanne...I should take the test because what happens if you're an only? A lot of all of the characteristics, I'm guessing!

OK...just did my Spring reading list...hope you can read it before your computer does that funny thing again, Susanne...;)

Shalee said...

Well, I'm the baby and yes, I use it to my advantage ALL. THE. TIME.

Unfortunately I married another baby so he know all my tricks...

BTW, I finished The Memory Keeper's Daughter... I think you'll like it.

Linda said...

Me too; me too Susanne!!! And I fit the mold perfectly. Like you I didn't want to be too hard on the oldest, but it sure is tough when you're trying so hard to do everything right. With the others I think we just sort of sit back and relax. I always add that God's grace goes a long way in making up for the mistakes we inevitably make no matter how hard we try. I think you are doing a great job!

momrn2 said...

Mine turned out exactly the same. I knew we were "kindred spirits". :-)

org junkie said...

You pray lots that you haven't ruined her?? Oh you have no idea how good that feels to know I'm not the only one. I prayed that prayer just this morning after a huge blow up with my daughter. I am a first born as well and yet I still place huge expectations on my daughter that I know are completely unfair. I'm going to keep on praying on this one....

Thanks Susanne!

Katherine @ Hillcrest Women said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katherine@Raising Five said...

I love all that birth order stuff. I think it especially works for first borns and babies, but the rest of us are way more fuzzy. I'm third of four, and I just pull out my first-born tendencies when I want to be bossy, and the baby tendencies when I don't want to finish what I start.

Yes, we are in the process of ruining our firstborn, too =). Ours defies many of those characteristics - my 3rd child has them. What's up with that? I know, I know, IT's ALL MY FAULT!

Miss you!

Tammie said...

You have me pegged as a TOTAL first-born! :)

Enjoying your posts!

Susie said...

I'm obviously the odd man out on commenters. I am a middle child and sensitive to a fault. I do however almost always strike up friendships with first borns and my husband is a first born. I find all this birth order stuff facinating. I will pray for you and your daughter. I know I am much harder on my first born daughter too. My baby girl is spoiled rotten, and my middle my son has actually started to take on some first born qualities-maybe because he is the first and only male child.

Andrea said...

I am a firstborn, too!
And I too, have the same worries about my own firstborn--she is definitely breaking ground. I just pray for lots of grace in that area!!

Lisa writes... said...

Firstborn here as well...and we do exactly the same thing you described with our firstborn. I tell him all the time, "because God made you first!" when he is complaining of his firstborn status / responsibility. If it comforts you any, I read somewhere if you are harder on the first, the rest are easier to raise, and I really think it's true! Learning by example works to some degree!

Chappyswife said...

This is intersting. I'll have to give it a try.

I could totally relate to parenting our oldest. Especially the "praying lots that we don't ruin her (him)" part!!! It is hard.

Have a great day, friend!