Friday, April 13, 2007

Random Interview Meme

"Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.” Winnie the Pooh



Well, Winnie, I wish that were really true because when you have a friend like Linda "interview" you, she doesn't ask cutsie questions like "What is your favorite color" or "How old were you when you got your first kiss" or the ever-popular "What is your favorite movie". Nooooo. You get whoppers like the following. So now, I need to sit and think, think, think. Where's my coffee?





1. What is one thing you'd like to do but do not have the courage to do? And why don't you do it? What's the worse that can happen, anyway?

I'd love to go on the Amazing Race with my oldest daughter! What's the worst that can happen? I'd fall apart on national t.v. into an emtional idiot. And/or I'd get stuck halfway down a building they were making me descend or halfway up mountain they were making me climb or in a small space they were making me crawl through and they would have to call international 911. And why don't I do it? 'Cause they won't let us little 'ole Canadians on the show. Even though they taped an episode in my backyard, fer cryin' out loud!

2. Describe your worst date. Did the poor fella know it was your worst date? What did you learn from this experience?

My worst date was when I went out with my boyfriend of about a month and his best friend and my best friend. Unbeknownst to me, my sweetheart of a guy had a secret crush on my girlfriend. When my back was turned, the poor dear, just couldn't help himself, and snuck a kiss from said secret crush. Unbeknownst to him, his best friend liked me as a good friend and told me the first chance he got. Said boyfriend was shoved off the pier that night. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Ya, I'd say he knew if was my worst date. Right, moving on.

3. You are at a Nationally televised Presidential White House press conference as part of the press corps. President Bush calls on you because you're waving your hand around like a wild woman. You stand, but suddenly your heart races, your mouth dries and your seeing stars. You can't remember your brilliant question or utter a single syllable. The only thing you are able to do is sing. Remaining silent is not an option. What will you sing and why?


I guess "O Canada" would be the wrong answer. Just as a side note: do you know how hard it is to answer this question with "I will survive" running non-stop in my brain thanks to Linda yesterday? Ummm, ummm. I got it. Mary Poppins said to use this word when you didn't know what to say. So definitely: "Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious"!


4. If you were named "Supreme Blogging Commander of the Official World Wide Webbings of Intranets" or some such other prestigious title, what is the first rule you would lay down as non-negotiable?
Concerning comments: if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. And no hijacking comments to advertise in any way, shape or form.


5. What is your favorite color? NOT!!! You are hiring someone for a position in your company. Nevermind which position. It's your job to hire the best candidate and then tell your superior why you chose that person. If you choose unwisely, you get fired. The pressure is on. Which will you choose of the following:

Candidate A brought her Ipod and said she could listen to you and the music at the same time.

Candidate B challenged you to an arm wrestling match.

Candidate C threw up on your desk and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

Candidate D stated that if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having your corporate logo tatooed on his forearem.

Candidate A. nope, may be able to multi task but shows disrespect

Candidate B. nope, too familiar with a superior

Candidate C. Hmm throwing up is not something they could help, can set aside how they personally feel to concentrate at the task at hand.

Candidate D. nope, too rash in thier decision making.

Candidate C it is. After I made them clean up the mess. And that's my final answer.

So if you're feeling gutsy, let me know in the comments, and I'll send you 5 interview questions, different from these, and I promise there is no way on God's green earth I will come up with smart questions like these. Now where's the Advil?

18 comments:

Linda said...

You make me so PROUD! :) Loved the answers, but i'd like to push the old boy off the pier. What nerve! He's lucky I wasn't there. I wasn't always so sweet and demure and nice. Ya did a great job, my friend.

{Karla} said...

i've always wanted to do the Amazing Race.

But I could just see me having a panic attack on the airplane and they edit it all crazy...

blessings,
karla

Barb said...

I love The Amazing Race but every single time we watch it I tell Rob being on that show would give me a heart attack. It's the airports. I'm such a control freak, all the chaos and confusion in those airports would be my downfall. It's not like you can book your flight six weeks in advance which is about the limit of my comfort zone.

Wow. These questions were amazing. Great answers, though. You know, if you think you can come up with five questions that don't require this kind of brain power, I might like to do this. I'm getting a little tired of posting about Chelsea and kitchen gadgets. :-)

Beck said...

He KISSED her! ON a date with you! Sister, I should email you a dating horror story of mine.
I look forward to watching you and your daughter on the Amazing Race! :)

Sarah said...

E-yuk I could not hire the vomit person, oh my, it's my worst phobia I'd have to burn the office down first :) You think I joke *BWAHAHAHAHA*

Katrina said...

Great questions, and great answers! And as much as I love the Amazing Race, I'm afraid I would become one very grouchy person by day 2. I need my comfy bed and my sleep. :)

FlipFlop Mom said...

ahhh these are great questions with GREAT answers!!!!! LOVED reading this!!

Kathryn said...

OH I think "O Canada" is exactly the right answer! :)

And then you could try "The Star-Spangled" just to be polite - if you can remember all the words.

Rhonda said...

bGreat answers. That is quite the dating story. You poor thing. Did he marry your friend?? I like the Mary Poppins' song, but O' Canada - hmmm - would have been very interesting too.

Not looking for any questions. Couldn't compete with you. :)

Melanie said...

Oh MY! The date was awful. You handled it quite well. I am too wimpy for the Amazing Race. I am not afraid of hard work- I just like my own bed and bathroom. Not the best traveler.

Susie said...

Nice answers. I don't know what I would have said because those are some "thinkin'" questions. I actually felt a little sorry for the guy stealing a kiss. That is just sad. I really enjoyed reading this, you are an original!

Barbie said...

Those were some tough questions, but you did a good job. I especially like the one about the blogging comments:) and have to agree with you on it!

org junkie said...

I'm way too much of a control freak to ever be on the amazing race but LOVE to watch. Can't wait to see it tonight!

Great answers!
Laura

Carol said...

Oh, I just lurv Linda! Thanks for helping us get to know her a little better!

(I may have gone with the iPod candidate - like minds, etc.)

Katherine@Raising Five said...

What is it with people who use their comments to advertise. Thanks for bringing this up. Maybe we should start a grass-roots effort to stop comment hijacking.

I would have picked C, too. I'd have moved the meeting elsewhere, though.

gail said...

Some hard questions there but you did good! I LOVE Amazing Race and would love to be on it too, but I'm too chicken; think I could handle the travel but I don't want to have to bungee jump, drink blood or shave my head! So I pretty much wouldn't be picked. You could always come live temporarily with some of us in the U.S. so you could be on it!
Plenty of sistas around!

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

Candidate C sounds like a good choice because #1 they obviously cared about the interview, #2 they'd start out very humbled and appreciative of the job, but I'd maybe make a job requirement that they get a bit of counseling for anxiety control! xoxo

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